Wednesday, April 11, 2012

POP CULTURE'S 100 YEAR OBSESSION WITH EUGENICS


Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

Everybody knows Khan Noonien Singh. He's one of the most famous Star Trekcharacters who isn't a starship crewmember. But he's also the poster boy for eugenics, the notion that you can improve the human race by rewriting our genes.
For the past century, pop culture has told plenty of stories about eugenics. Some of them have criticized the notion that you can make people "better" — but others have been wishful fantasies about making a better world through genetics. Here's the weird history of eugenics in popular culture.
Before we start, just to clarify — this article won't deal with all forms of genetic manipulation — such as transgenic people who are part-cat, part-human. That's a really broad topic, and too much ground to cover in one place. This is just about fantasies of using genetic manipulation, breeding or extermination to encourage or remove certain genetic traits.

Pre-World War II

Eugenics goes back to the late 19th century — basically, it arose along with Darwinism and Natural Selection.
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

But one important early text in the United States is the 1910 bookletEugenics: the Science of Human Improvement by Better Breeding by C.B. Davenport, founder of the Eugenics Record Office, who says that people wouldn't interbreed if they knew for sure their offspring would be mentally inferior.
Davenport did years of research, collecting people's family histories and trying to figure out how certain traits had been passed on, or not as the case might be. Davenport believed not only that people of African ancestry were inferior, but also that Polish people, Irish people and Italians were fundamentally different genetically. For example, Italians had a genetic tendency towards "crimes of personal violence." Immigration, thought Davenport, would eventually leave Americans darker in pigment and more likely to commit "crimes of larceny, kidnapping, assault, murder, rape and sex-immorality."
Spurred on by thinkers like Davenport, a eugenics movement took hold in the United States, leading to the forced sterilization of 65,000 people who were deemed "unfit," which continued into the 1970s. (I love how one Georgia law provided for "immunization from procreation" for convicted criminals — as if procreation were an infectious disease.)
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

One of the earliest novels about eugenics is Eduardo Urzaiz'sEugenia: A Fictional Sketch of Future Habits, published in 1919. Urzaiz, a Cuban doctor and scholar who moved to Mexico as a child, was an early advocate of birth control — a taboo subject in 1919. AndEugenia, his only work of fiction, explores the 23rd century world of Villautopia, where "the reproduction of the species was supervised by the State and regulated by science." The narrator visits the Bureau of Eugenics, where tough choices are made to ensure the "evolutionary march toward an ideal of perfection." Once all humans are equally fit, various characters suggest, we can achieve absolute social and economic equality.
Another early eugenics utopia is Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, published in 1915. One of the earliest women-only societies (see below for more examples of these), Herland features entirely Aryan women — and only the fittest are allowed to reproduce.
There were also several other early fictional accounts of eugenics, including Edward Payton Jackson's The Demigod (1886), Trygaeus' The United States of the World (1916), Jacques Binet-SanglĂ©'s The Human Stud-Farm (1918) and William Margrie's The Story of a Great Experiment: How England Produced the First Superman (1927).
But meanwhile, in 1931, Aldous Huxley published Brave New World, which features babies born in "hatcheries" and carefully bred for their role in society. "Alphas" are supposed to be highly intelligent leaders, but the other four castes (Beta, Gamma, Delta and Epsilon) are selected for their value as laborers — and the lower castes tend to be identical clones, with arrested development. Other novels which criticized or satirized eugenics included Rose Macaulay's What Not (1918) and Charlotte Haldane's Man's World(1927).
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

But meanwhile, E.E. "Doc" Smith began publishing his Lensmanseries in 1934, with the serialization of Triplanetary in Amazing Stories. In the Lensmanuniverse, the super-advanced Arisians have been doing a eugenics program since before Atlantis, culminating in five super-humans. (Although I believe this doesn't become fully apparent until First Lensman, published in 1948.) As the introduction to Old Earth Press' edition of First Lensman says, "eugenics presents no moral challenge to Doc Smith, and the fact that his chosen race is unmistakably Aryan needs to be assimilated by readers, and then — for the duration — completely and utterly ignored."
Also in the 1930s, Olaf Stapledon published the novels First and Last Men andOdd John, which concern themselves with genetic engineering and divergent evolution that create far-future races of superhumans as well as sub-humans.
Also the 1933 movie The Island of Lost Souls, based on the H.G. Wells novel, dealt with a scientist trying to create the perfect human being — and Paramount Pictures even invited eugenicist Julian Huxley onto the film set to vouch for the scientific accuracy of the film.
Click to viewOn the other hand, you had the 1936 musical comedy College Holiday, starring Jack Benny, George Burns, Gracie Allen and Martha Raye.College Holiday takes place at the ridiculous Eugenic Mating Headquarters, which is devoted to "the creation of a Greek-like super race." The movie is full of spoofs on eugenics, including the notion of eugenic beauty pageants, and the idea that the Greek gods themselves practiced eugenics. The Greek god costumes in the movie are deliberately made to look like "glorified gunny sacks." (You can listen to a radio presentation of it here — the comedy starts at 3:20 and is laugh-out-loud bizarre.)
Some scholars also suggest that early-1930s horror movies like Frankensteinand Dracula reflect unease with eugenics. Frankenstein is all about scientific experts trying to control human life (and thus, human reproduction.) AndDracula is about what can go wrong when you have a "pure" bloodsucking elite. But meanwhile, the many movie adaptations of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde play on fears that humans could return to our simian, animalistic roots if we're not careful.
And then of course the 1930s ended with the creation of Superman, whose very name suggests that he's the embodiment of the Aryan ideal of the racially pure Ubermensch — even though he actually comes from another planet and wants to interbreed with our human women.
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

In 1942, Robert A. Heinlein published his second novel, Beyond This Horizon, serialized in Astounding Science Fiction under the name Anson McDonald. It depicts a world in which people have been selected for longevity and health, resulting in a race of super-humans and an economic utopia in which there is no scarcity. (But this particular form of eugenics does not involve racism, just selection for overall health.) Heinlein's later novels, such as Stranger in a Strange Land, would also deal with the emergence of superhumans.

After World War II

The Nazis took eugenic ideas to a horrific extreme, in their quest for the Aryan superman. And in the wake of the Holocaust, many people had a harder time advocating selective breeding or genetic fitness. Writes Richard Dawkins:
In the 1920s and 1930s, scientists from both the political left and right would not have found the idea of designer babies particularly dangerous - though of course they would not have used that phrase. Today, I suspect that the idea is too dangerous for comfortable discussion, and my conjecture is that Adolf Hitler is responsible for the change. Nobody wants to be caught agreeing with that monster, even in a single particular.
And this change was reflected in pop culture. Movies that dealt with eugenics in the early 1940s typically depicted Nazi-like mad scientists who attempted to create super soldiers through horrifying means, including The Mad Monster (1942), The Boogie Man Will Get You (1942) and Revenge of the Zombies (1943).
The rash of "Nazis won World War II" alternate history stories and novels that started after the Nazis actually lost World War II frequently include some horrible outcomes — in Philip K. Dick's The Man in the High Castle, the Nazis solve the "African problem" by nuking Africa.
In the 1950s and 1960s, B-movies became obsessed with the idea that radiation from atomic testing could degrade our DNA. Some stories even explicitly brought up the notion that the only way to protect against this damage was to "improve" our DNA now by selecting for superior traits. (Or by splicing in mutant wolf DNA, as in The Werewolf (1956).
Two television programs came along in the 1960s which were obsessed with the evils of trying to create the perfect human.
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

One of them, of course, was Star Trek — many of the stories in the Original Series have to do with foolish attempts to improve humanity. And Captain Kirk often meets superior beings (like the Organians, and the disembodied voice in "The Arena") who taunt him that humanity is not yet evolved enough to understand various concepts. But probably the most memorable TOS villain, other than the Klingons and Romulans, is Khan Noonien Singh, a genetically enhanced superman who's a veteran of the "eugenics wars" of the 1990s. Paradoxically, Khan is depicted both as the next stage of human evolution and as a throwback — Kirk frequently refers to the fact that Khan comes from an earlier, more barbaric time. It's not until 1982's movie sequel Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan that his "superior intellect" is mentioned in every other sentence.
The theme of eugenics in Star Trek is brought up again in the later series, most notably in the character of Julian Bashir in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, who turns out to be the beneficiary of illegal genetic manipulation to make him a genius. (In Star Trek's bright future, almost any medical problem can be fixed by waving a salt shaker over you, but certain improvements are still taboo, thanks to Khan.)
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

And then there's Doctor Who, the British show that has the spectre of World War II hanging over it. Doctor Who's most famous villains are the Daleks, who are obsessed with racial purity and the extermination of anyone whose genetic stock is different. "A dislike for the unlike," Ian calls it in the first Dalek adventure. The Daleks' connection with Nazis is made explicit in "The Daleks Master Plan" and "Genesis of the Daleks," but it runs through pretty much all their stories. And their obsession with genetic purity is brought up frequently in the new series, when they deem only one human cell in a billion worthy of becoming a Dalek.
But classic Doctor Who is also full of failed utopias, fascist leaders, and people who find themselves transforming into something bizarre and horrible. A key theme of many Doctor Who stories is the need to hold on to your humanity.
A few themes started emerging in the 1970s that connected, at least tangentially, to eugenics:
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics














  • Mutants: The X-Men first achieved real fame in the 1970s, and the theme of mutated humans with superior powers, who were hated and oppressed by normal humans, became a major theme — building on such works as The Chrysalidsby John Wyndham.
  • Eco-catastrophe: A huge rash of films in the 1970s dealt with the idea of an ecological disaster, and in several of these, mad scientists attempt to upgrade or modify humanity genetically to survive.
  • Feminist utopias: We already mentioned Herland above — and starting in the 1970s, there was a string of utopian novels about women-only or female-dominated societies, in which one common feature was genetically engineered babies. In some cases, male babies are genetically engineered to lack aggression or to be more obedient. We published a brief survey of these here.
Blade Runner (1982) deals with a race of genetically engineered people, Replicants, who have superior abilities — but a built-in time limit, causing them to die within a few years.
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

And the novel Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card (1985) takes place in a future where breeding is controlled by the state, although Ender himself was conceived without permission. There are hints throughout the series that Ender's parents, however, were genetically engineered — and this may have contributed to Ender's tactical brilliance in the war against the alien Buggers.
The 1988 movie Twins involves a genetic experiment to create the perfect man — but Arnold Schwarzenegger gets all the "purity and strength" genes, while Danny DeVito gets all the "genetic garbage." (Schwarzenegger has recently said he wants to make a sequel, Triplets, in which they turn out to have a third twin: Eddie Murphy.)

1990 and Beyond: Genetic Engineering

Starting in the early 1990s, the prospect of actual genetic engineering started to seem less far-fetched, as we start to map the human genome. Dolly the Sheep was cloned in 1996, and things like Alba the glowing bunny and a mouse with a human ear began to seem commonplace.
And science fiction started to explore these topics more seriously. Nancy Kress' 1990 Hugo- and Nebula-winning novella "Beggars in Spain" features children who are genetically engineered not to need sleep.
Probably the most famous movie about genetic enhancement is the 1997 dystopian film Gattaca, in which in-vitro children are tested to select the ones with their parents' best traits. There's a genetic registry that lists the peopel who were genetically selected using this method, aka "valids," while the people who are still susceptible to genetic problems, aka "invalids," are relegated to menial work. Technically, genetic discrimination is illegal — but it goes on all the time.
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

But Gattaca was part of a huge wave of dystopias and false utopias around eugenics. Tons of movies in the past two decades or so have used genetic engineering as a plot device in one way or another — in the horrible Batman and Robin, Mr. Freeze is trying to cure his wife's rare genetic disorder. In Code 46, people are using anonymous sperm donors so much that the government must control people's reproduction to avoid in-breeding. In Blade II, an evil vampire scientist tries to use genetic manipulation to create a new "pure race" of vampires. In The Nutty Professor, Dr. Klump alters his DNA to become the suave, amoral Buddy Love. And so on.
Pop Culture's 100-year Obsession With Eugenics

And meanwhile, science fiction books became obsessed with posthumans who had evolved beyond our current limitations. Iain M. Banks' Culture novels depict a highly advanced society in which people are able to change their physical form, including species, at will. Alastair Reynolds' recent House of Suns depicts a future in which "shatterlings," multiple clones of the same person, live for hundreds of thousands of years across the stars. As Alan DeNiro pointed out in Rain Taxi in 2007, much of the "new space opera" is about humans who have given up much of their humanity to live in space.
So how close are the ideals of posthumanism and transhumanism to eugenics? These philosophies certainly suggest that we can "improve" the human race by merging with machines — but also by hacking our bodies in various ways. These improvements are often imperfectly distributed, due to socioeconomic status, among other things.
The magazine Foreign Policy asked eight thinkers to name the single idea that could "pose the greatest threat to the welfare of humanity" if it were embraced, including Francis Fukuyama, a professor at Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies, and member of the President's Council on Bioethics. Fukuyama chose transhumanism.
The first victim of transhumanism might be equality... If we start transforming ourselves into something superior, what rights will these enhanced creatures claim, and what rights will they possess when compared to those left behind? If some move ahead, can anyone afford not to follow? These questions are troubling enough within rich, developed societies. Add in the implications for citizens of the world's poorest countries — for whom biotechnology's marvels likely will be out of reach — and the threat to the idea of equality becomes even more menacing.
Of course, stories about heroic posthumans are usually careful to avoid any suggestion that undesirable traits have been bred out, or that one particular group of humans was more "fit" to become posthuman. But it's hard not to feel a bit worried that some versions of posthumanism might spring from the same notions of improving the human race that drove the popularity of eugenics 100 years ag

Friday, April 6, 2012

WATER WORLD 23


The ocean is a bastion of strange life forms, and because it’s so large we’re discovering new life forms all the time. Much of what we encounter looks very strange even by sea creature standards. Reasons for this vary, but one popular theory claims that because many of these creatures live much closer to the sea floor than others that they have either evolved differently or have been able to avoid factors that have lead to the the changes seen in the creatures we do know.
What follows are seven of the strangest creatures in the sea. Some are terrifying, others are deadly, but they all have one thing in common: they ain’t tuna.
1.
The Pelican Eel
Hey! You got pelican in my eel!
You got your eel in my pelican!
Yikes. Yes, the pelican eel is actually an eel, and its mouth is huge, hence the name. Also known as the umbrella mouth gulper, this is a deep sea fish that’s rarely ever seen by humans. It does occasionally show up in fishing nets, however.
Growing up to a meter in length, the jaw alone makes up for a quarter of the total size. Loosely hinged, the jaw can open wide enough to eat fish much larger than the pelican eel itself (its stomach is rather accommodating to this unique feature). However, such extreme measures are rarely needed in the pelican’s daily operations. Its diet consists mostly of small crustaceans and its teeth are too small to chew much else. While you wouldn’t want to see this thing come flying out of your toilet, it doesn’t pose much of a threat to you unless you are a crab.
pelican eel
2.
Stargazers
What happens to fish who are conceived under power lines? This:
Named after the charming placement of their eyes, stargazers just look flat-out angry. The upward facing mouth seems to say “Yeah, I was hit in the head with a shovel. Wanna fight about it?”
Living up to its creepy looks, the stargazer is a hunter that utilizes stealth and traps. It buries itself in the sand while waiting for potential prey to swim overhead. When the moment is right the stargazer strikes with a combination of venom and electric shocks, because poisoning something just isn’t fun unless you can cause severe nerve damage as well. If that weren’t unsettling enough, some species of stargazers have a worm-like lure growing from inside their mouths that they use to attract their prey.
stargazers
3.
Megamouth Shark
The name should tip you off right away that something about this shark isn’t quite right.
The megamouth shark is another rarely seen deep sea dweller. Discovered as recently as 1976, only fifty specimens have been seen and identified with only three of these recorded on film. You can assume that those numbers are accurate since it would be pretty difficult to see this:
And assume it was anything else but a creature of Satan’s design.
Despite its appearance, the mouth isn’t used for committing terrible acts of murder in the murky depths. Rather, the megamouth shark will swim around with its mouth wide open to filter the sea for plankton on which to feed. Not much else is known about the creature due in part to how incredibly rare it seems to be. They can grow to be up to eighteen feet in length and weigh over two-thousand pounds. Their jaws can open to one to three meters wide. Again, the chances of you being attacked by the megamouth shark (or even seeing the damn thing) aren’t great, but just stop and think about that for a few minutes and try not to scream in horror.
megamouth shark
4.
Blue Ringed Octopus
Standing high and proud at a whopping seven centimeters and wearing fifty to sixty tasteful blue polka dots; the blue ringed octopus isn’t going to win any fights through intimidation. Thankfully, that isn’t necessary since it’s one of the most venomous creatures in the sea.
The venom of the blue ringed octopus is created by bacteria in the salivary glands and is enough to kill an adult human. In fact, the palm-sized octopus carries enough venom to kill over twenty adult humans in a matter of minutes. The venom is capable of causing complete motor paralysis and respiratory arrest, both of which lead up to cardiac arrest. Oh, and there’s no anti-venom.
blue ringed
5.
Vampire Squid
There’s a strong chance that Japanese cartoon pornography has ruined your perception of any creature that has tentacles. This, while ultimately scarring, is probably for the best.
The vampire squid more closely resembles a jellyfish than a squid. It does, however, live to its namesake. Fins at the top of its body resemble large pointed ears. Despite the body being six inches long, with another six inches of tentacles, it has very large eyes. The eight tentacles are webbed, linked together by black and red flaps of skin resembling a cloak. What’s more, the insides of the tentacles are covered in sharp tooth-like spikes. So yeah, there’s more than a passing resemblance to a vampire in this thing.
Having no ink sack with which to defend itself, the vampire squid will instead raise its tentacles up to create a sort of protective cloak with the teeth pointing outward. It has also developed an awesome means of catching its prey: two of the tentacles can extend to twice their normal length. Finally, the squid is covered with organs called photophores that can produce light. The vampire squid is capable of turning off these organs at will, practically rendering itself invisible in its natural depths. This may also mean that vampire squids beat Twilight to the sparkly vampire motif by simple virtue of existing.
vampire squid
6.
Dana Octopus Squid
Yet another rare creature of the deep, the Dana Octopus Squid is among the largest squid species discovered. It is so rare, however, that it wasn’t filmed until 2005.
The defining feature of this squid is its ability to light up photophores on its arms. The 2005 footage shows the squid using this light to attack and disorient its prey with a dazzling show before promptly killing it.
The lights also serve as a defense mechanism as well. When attacked, young specimens will actually charge their attacker and flash their lights rapidly in an attempt to intimidate, blind or possibly trigger seizures in their enemy.
dana octopus
7.
Goblin Shark
Despite the cute name this shark doesn’t look like a goblin so much as it does a switchblade knife.
Discovered by a Japanese fisherman during the late 1800s, the goblin shark is rarely seen by humans, and given it’s less than handsome appearance, no one’s complaining. The odd anatomy has a few cool secrets, though. First, electro-sensetive organs in the snout allow it to hunt where it normally can’t see (which is practically everywhere given how deep beneath the surface it lives). Second, the jaws can protrude and hide tongue like muscle that can literally suck its prey into its razor-sharp teeth.
Because of their unique shape, the jaws of goblin sharks can be sold for thousands of dollars. Despite this, it isn’t considered endangered or in danger of becoming endangered due to how rare it has proven to be.
goblin shark
Written by Ben Dennison – 

Thursday, April 5, 2012

MAYAN ODYSSEY

11 Random Facts About the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse


It's 2012 and you know what that means: The world is ending! Sort of. Maybe. Probably not.

I'm a sucker for apocalyptic predictions -- I used to read Nostradamus for pleasure and I'd kiss Harold Camping on the mouth for the fun he provided last year -- so the Mayan 2012 prediction falls in nicely. I thought this would also be a good time to do a little myth busting on the subject; before I started reading on it, the extent of my knowledge was "the Mayans say the world is ending this year" and that just can't suffice.

Here are 11 random facts about the Mayan apocalypse, currently scheduled for December 21st, 2012. So crack a bottle, let your body Quetzalcoatl.


  1. See, the Mayan calendar doesn't have 12/21/12 circled.
    The Mayans never actually predicted an apocalypse.There's nothing in Mayan texts that specifically says "The world is ending on December 21st, 2012." That's just when the long-form version of their calendar runs out. The Mayans believed time isn't linear, like we do, they believed it's cyclical. Kind of like the record player theory on season five or six of Lost. (Or maybe not. Maybe they were literally talking about an enchanted record player. Lost was so convoluted at that point.)

    And at the end of this cycle (the 12th cycle), life and society as we know it will be wiped out to start again fresh. But none of the texts ever say, "Yeah, come December 21st, 2012, you are all effed. So use your gift cards now."
  2. The prediction does not say the world is ending. This is another misconception. The prediction doesn't foresee the planet blowing up. It foresees widespread disasters that will probably cause an ice age that changes life, civilization and society. And it views that as a necessity, because after a while, society makes enough mistakes and causes enough damage to the Earth that it needs to regulate.

    The world doesn't need to be destroyed, the world needs to be rebooted. It's not like hitting "reset" on the Nintendo, it's more like holding the power button while you hit reset to make sure Zelda or Baseball Stars retain your data while you start this particular game over.

  3. "What disaster should our movie feature?" "How about all of them?"
    The apocalypse will resembleThe Day After Tomorrowmore than 2012. In this particular apocalypse, expect every possible disaster to happen -- not just one or two. Flooding, tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, avalanches, boats hitting glaciers, monsters, 2 Broke Girlsbecoming more popular -- it's all gonna happen.

    (Random disaster movie fact: Roland Emmerich directed The Day After Tomorrow AND2012. He also directed Independence Day and Godzilla. If the world does get hit with a million simultaneous disasters, is it possible his expertise is our best chance at survival? And if you think "he's a movie director, he can't save us," just remember that inArmageddon you bought into the idea of a group of oil drillers being sent to space to blow up an asteroid.)
  4. Only two of the 15,000 confirmed Mayan texts mention 2012. This is one of those arguments against the apocalypse to be used on people who don't want to hear things like "science." If the Mayans really did know that 2012 was the day the world would end,wouldn't it get more than a fleeting mention?

  5. Homer's doomsday equation is: 12-333x666=(axb2)>2=7(2+2b2)-144,000-0=3 15 05 18.
    The Mayan apocalypse might just be more rooted in science than faith. We're used to our End of Days predictions taking the form of "repent now, ye sinners." The Mayan prediction actually skews more toward science.They were brilliant astronomers and mathematicians, and the prediction is rooted in centuries of observation and data about the shifting of the stars and the Earth. It's not like when Homer Simpson started pulling random numbers out of the Bible and using them to formulate a doomsdate.

    That being said... the 2012 apocalypse has also taken on some strong New Age-y components because it's not just astronomically-based, it's also astrologically-based. Plus all the ideas about it being a rebirth and a rexamination of mankind and such is just a perfect conversation topic while listening to a white guy with dreadlocks play a sitar.
  6. The best theory that mixes science and New Age theory basically compares us to the flashing clock on the VCR. There are plenty of theories why the Mayans predicted the end for 12/21/12, but this seems to be the one that blends everything together the smoothest.

    On December 21st, 2012, the day of the winter solstice, the Mayans saw that the Earth would line up with the sun directly blocking the "center" of the Milky Way. And the New Age philosophers believe when we're eclipsed from that center, we'll briefly be deprived of the energy we get from the universe. Which is glibly analogous to the old clocks on the VCRs -- once we get the energy back, we'll still be around, but we'll be cleansed and reset and flashing 12:00.
  7. North Korea vehemently rejects the notion of a 2012 end of the world. And NOT just because North Korea vehemently rejects everything. 2012 is an important year to the North Koreans because it would've been the 100th birthday of Kim Il-sung-- the Kim who founded the country. And the North Koreans have always believed on that 100th anniversary, it would finally be the moment when North Korea ascends to become the world's most powerful country.

    So anything disparaging about the year 2012 is banned in the country outright. The movie2012 was no exception, and apparently some people in North Korea were even arrested for having pirated copies of the movie



  1. In Tulum, in the Mayan Riviera, there's a group of Italians constructing a bunker. And also, apparently, a popular nudist resort. According to reports, a group of Italian believers have been in Tulum, in the Mayan Riviera in Mexico, secretly constructing a bunker where they'll wait out the apocalypse.

    Only when I Googled "Tulum, Mayan Riviera Italians" to try to get a second source of confirmation, the first link was to an all-inclusive "adults only" resort in Tulum.Perhaps these Italians figured that if the world has less than 12 months left, they sure as hell aren't going to waste those months wearing pants.

    Not necessarily a real fact about the Mayan apocalypse -- but I guarantee in the eight billion stories written about this topic this year, I will be the ONLY person who hits on this angle.
  2. NASA is so pissed about this that they've set up a FAQ debunking it. Now that they're not as busy as they used to be, NASA has set up an entire page debunking the 2012 prediction. They get deeper into some of the subcategories of the 2012 apocalypse that I'm not going to delve into here (colliding with another planet, solar flares, a meteor hitting Earth) -- and, unfortunately, seem to venture into full-on Lady Doth Protest Too Much mode. China better ignite Space Race 2.0: Hotel on Mars soon because NASA is bored.

  3. Two screenshots from The Simpsons in one list.
    According to The X-Files, the day after the apocalypse is when aliens will finally take over Earth. We know this because Mulder confirms it. Basically, in The X-Files, the theory was that aliens would come the day AFTER the apocalypse because they'd want to take over an empty Earth. And I think we all know better than to doubtThe X-Files. I don't want to end up with a shirt that says Sam Is A Dope.
  4. December 21st, 2012 might not actually be the date. Like every apocalyptic prediction, there's some wiggle room on the date. That always makes things a little smoother when the day comes and goes and we're all still here.

    The Mayans didn't use the modern Gregorian calendar, obviously. So modern Mayan scholars have had to translate their calendar system (based roughly around years featuring 13 months of 20 days) into our system (a bunch of months that are a bunch of different lengths). December 21st, 2012 is the most common conclusion for the apocalypse, but other dates -- including October 28th, 2011 and March 31st, 2013 -- are also in play. In other words: If you put off your Christmas shopping this year because you want to see if the world ends or not, you may also find yourself putting off your April Fools' Day shopping next year.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

EVIL CHILDREN


A Survey of Evil Children in Art

6
Not all children are cute, innocent, chubby-cheeked Renaissance cherubs. Some kids are just bad seeds… or so we’ve been alerted by film and literature. And so, we’ve scoured art history and contemporary art trends, looking for other warning signs. From classic tiny troublemakers to unintentionally frightening babies to some seriously kitschy evil kids, check out our dastardly brood in this slideshow. Tsk-tsk. We’re glad these aren’t ours. Did we miss someone important who definitely shouldn’t be left to his or her own devices? Let us know, quick, before something bad happens.
Let’s kick it off with a misunderstanding. Now, usually, if a toddler is gleefully urinating on you, laughing as he goes, that’s a bit of a red flag. Not so in this 1520s “paradigmatic marriage painting.” For Lorenzo Lotto’s Venus and Cupid, it’s a good thing. It’s a symbol of fertility, a gift to bless unknown newlyweds as future parents. For actual parents, it’s probably not so great.
This classic Weegee New York City crime scene photograph is entitled Their First Murder. Check out the gore-hungry, violent faces of this morbid child mob as they fight for a chance to gawk at some unfortunate corpse. That little girl in the middle? She gives us the chills.
Multi-talented artist and visionary David Lynch recognizes the potential for pure malevolence in a child with idle hands. By the the charred auras and clouds swarming around the little guy in his recent Boy Lights Fire painting, we can tell that the kid’s just not alright. It’s a Lynchian theme of sorts.
In this ancient, illuminated French manuscript, we see that the “problem child” problem goesway back. Here is the tale of Elisha, a holy prophet from the Hebrew Bible and the Qur’an, who was going up to Bethel when, allegedly, a group of local street urchins began to taunt him and call him “bald head.” So, “baldy” cursed them in the name of God and bears came out of the forest and mauled 42 of them. Let that be… uh… a lesson?
There’s something very off about the children and child-like maidens that populate Mark Ryden’s fantastical world. It doesn’t have to be as direct as ridiculously-kitschy, prettied-up Hitler youth, though he’s done that too, of course. Something about little round-faced girls being happily draped in dripping, bloody meat… Or maybe, it’s their unmoved, glassy stare as all kindsof surreal horrors unfold before them. Who are these kids?
Austrian-Irish painter, photographer and performance artist Gottfried Helnwein will definitely murder your childhood. His wasn’t so great, growing up in dark, sullen post-World War II Vienna in ruins. While the wounded child has been a consistent visual theme for the controversial artist, there is a definite strand of scary, self-possessed little tots and tweens that you wouldn’t want to be left alone with.
It’s never too clear whether Ray Ceasar’s subjects are precocious children or developmentally displaced adults. Always in a decadent setting, anachronistically dressed and deathly pale, these strange little monsters sprout spindly fingers, or tentacles, or arachnoid limbs, or they hang bat-like from ceilings in age-inappropriate Victorian fashions, or they mount adults like strange little parasites, but they always give us a bit of the creeps.
And now, enjoy these vintage Merry Krampus cards. You know, Krampus? He’s just like Santa for certain parts of Europe, only instead of giving naughty kids coal, he whisks the evil ones off in chains and baskets to drown them, eat them and transport them to Hell, where there may or may not be bears. Oh yes. These wee ones do look guilty, don’t they?
And now, for some video WTF, behold the work of artist Landon Meier whose “Hyperflesh” masks are so real-looking, this viral clip is basically performance art. OK, so, it’s not a real evil child, but if there’s something more frightening than a man-sized baby flopping wildly toward you with his giant, frowning, hyperrealistic head, we’re not sure what that would be.
You might remember this one. Danish-Norwegian artist Nina Maria Kleivan dressed up her one-year-old baby daughter as various evil dictators and caused a stir of controversy, but really, this might be one of those projects that is just too kitsch to be truly offensive. Anyway, The Onionthought of it ten years ago.